Monday, January 31, 2011
Every day..
I get more and more excited about getting married. Part of me thinks this is just weird behavior for a 22 year old man, but.. then on the other hand I'm happy and I could give a fuck what anyone else thinks.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Cool day
SO I started off my day by falling on my ass down a flight of wooden stairs. Then on my way in I get pulled over by a cop, because apparently I was going 40 in a 25.. and thats not even possibe considering the weather conditions. Thankfully he gave me a warning. Then Im here all day at work bored... and i have to work till 6PM tonight. not happy about that. so i have had a 12 hour day so far... and nothing good has come of it. on top of all that i cant even see my wife to be because we live nowhere near each other...
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Day 1
That was a refreshing surprise visit. It was much needed, I miss you so much. I had a blast for the couple days I got. It was 100% worth it.. You're forever my queen and you deserve nothing but the world. I only hope I can give you everything that you deserve!! I love you.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Last night
I decided it was a good idea to drown my sorrows in a drink or 7. It actually made me express a lot of the feeling I had bottled up inside, and made things a lot better for me in more than one way. so I think things are going to start looking up from here on out!! (L)
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Seven
Seven with the lime will keep me safe, long enough to stop the thought of your embrace inside my HEEEAAAEAAADDD!!
Soo
I had a near death experience already, long story short.. the grinding machine wasnt calibrated properly and a very sharp chunk of metal shot off the spindle and wizzed right by my head.. close enough to cut my nose.. had I not been moving as slow as I was.. I would be dead right now.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
=(
so I legit cried today around 10, today I feel like a horrible person for not being where I should be. I feel like I am letting people down and there is nothing I can do about it.
RIP
Today marks another one of those days... it sucks.... im nervous, end of story. I Love You and hope everything turns out ok! Ill be there for you asap!
Monday, January 17, 2011
ALR
I have been writing this since about 3:42 AM. I wanted to make sure it was perfect and I got my point across to everyone that matters before I posted it online. I have
come to the realization that I have a lot of issues, weather buried deep down or out in the open. I don't know why i do the things I do sometimes. When you first get
to know em i seem to be like a really nice guy, caring or what not. But it always comes out at some point or another later on, that I am actually a self centered,
selfish person. When I fight and or argue with a person, I always have to be the winner as if everything has to be a competition with me, like I always have to be the best.I hate that about myself, when I become like this or feel like i am going to lose I become for lack of a better way of putting it.. a monster. I have hurt certain people or mostly one person in my life lately. For that i will never forgive myself. This person does not deserve the way I treat them sometimes. I want to change i really do. They are my entire world and i am sure by now they know this. I am seriously thinking about getting therapy to possibly figure out why I am like this. I don't want to go on anymore the way i am, it makes me sick some of the things I say and do to get my way or get my point across sometimes. I desperately want to change and not just for myself, I want to change for YOU.. because you know who you are and you don't need to put up with it. But I will first and foremost thank you for putting
up with my shit. That's how I know I found what i am looking for. You are by far the best thing that's ever happened to my life, and I never want to lose you. Please
accept this apology, because I love you to death and I need you to know that. I know sometimes I may walk around with a tough guy facade, or that i don't care about
anything, or that I have no regrets. But that's the exact opposite. I regret a lot of things... to many to count on my hands and toes. Just know that especially in these next few days I will be there for you no matter what, I need you to know again that I love you to death and care about you sooooo much. I care more for your well being than I do my own, I would take a bullet for you.. or give my life for yours, that's how strong I feel about you. I hurt just as much as everyone else.. although i may not show it. but its time to start showing it.. its time to change.. I know i have barked up that tree for a while now, but this time has to be different... different for me, different for YOU. Again Please forgive me, I know I bounced around a lot but it needed to be said. In the end i will leave you with this, its time for a real change and you deserve better. Today is a new day and so it begins. I Love you, please forgive me.
come to the realization that I have a lot of issues, weather buried deep down or out in the open. I don't know why i do the things I do sometimes. When you first get
to know em i seem to be like a really nice guy, caring or what not. But it always comes out at some point or another later on, that I am actually a self centered,
selfish person. When I fight and or argue with a person, I always have to be the winner as if everything has to be a competition with me, like I always have to be the best.I hate that about myself, when I become like this or feel like i am going to lose I become for lack of a better way of putting it.. a monster. I have hurt certain people or mostly one person in my life lately. For that i will never forgive myself. This person does not deserve the way I treat them sometimes. I want to change i really do. They are my entire world and i am sure by now they know this. I am seriously thinking about getting therapy to possibly figure out why I am like this. I don't want to go on anymore the way i am, it makes me sick some of the things I say and do to get my way or get my point across sometimes. I desperately want to change and not just for myself, I want to change for YOU.. because you know who you are and you don't need to put up with it. But I will first and foremost thank you for putting
up with my shit. That's how I know I found what i am looking for. You are by far the best thing that's ever happened to my life, and I never want to lose you. Please
accept this apology, because I love you to death and I need you to know that. I know sometimes I may walk around with a tough guy facade, or that i don't care about
anything, or that I have no regrets. But that's the exact opposite. I regret a lot of things... to many to count on my hands and toes. Just know that especially in these next few days I will be there for you no matter what, I need you to know again that I love you to death and care about you sooooo much. I care more for your well being than I do my own, I would take a bullet for you.. or give my life for yours, that's how strong I feel about you. I hurt just as much as everyone else.. although i may not show it. but its time to start showing it.. its time to change.. I know i have barked up that tree for a while now, but this time has to be different... different for me, different for YOU. Again Please forgive me, I know I bounced around a lot but it needed to be said. In the end i will leave you with this, its time for a real change and you deserve better. Today is a new day and so it begins. I Love you, please forgive me.
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